The Celebrities coming to my Dinner Party

Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash

Dinner parties……do you remember them?   

The sort of dinner parties where we sat down to a 3 course meal seems a very distant memory.  But, pre-pandemic, we enjoyed  hosting and attending the less formal dinner party with prepared food and nibbles, drinking around the house, listening to music, having fairly uninhibited conversations, dancing very badly in the early hours and helping to disguise or clear up minor damage and wine spills.   

Thanks to covid restrictions and covid paranoia, for many people the thought of having more than two people round for fun and refreshments is either too scary to contemplate or could be considered antisocial or even insurgency. 

However, once Omicron has infected everybody in the UK, say in two weeks, and we, our family and friends are still alive and still have our taste buds, I shall be in the market for home partying.  My fun gene may have been subdued by the virus but I’m pretty sure it’s still there.  My conversation might be restricted to tv programmes and box sets we’ve watched, all the places we haven’t been to and the gigs we didn’t go to and who has not been well or died……  but what the heck, we’ve got to make some social contact with each other in a comfortable environment. 

So, when we arrange our next ‘dinner’ party, what if our guests can’t attend due to illness or other reasons?  What if they won’t attend due to covid concerns, covid lethargy and made up reasons? Wouldn’t that be disappointing? Have I got a B list? Well, probably not!

It’s here where I start to get (as Captain Mainwairing would say*) “into the realms of fantasy”…….. 

I started to wonder which ‘celebrities’ I could invite to my party should my far more important and entertaining friends let me down.  Which famous people would it be fun to get together so that, with my choice of party food and great taste in music, it would be a massive hoot and an instagram sensation.  I’m sure you’ve all had this conversation in the pub.

If you are a reader of my Blog from ‘Blogspot’ days, you will know that I have little time for those ‘celebrities’ who are just famous for being famous and the whole celebrity culture thing / marketing machine.  My celebrity guests would be those who are celebrated not just because they are moderately famous, but who are also good at what I’d call a proper job.  They would also have to be intelligent, sociable, upbeat, funny and entertaining, and able to tell a good tale (all the things I’m not).  They must not be pretentious, smug, or irritatingly ‘woke’, and, to make the party interesting, I would be looking for some political diversity as well as a mixture of talent and expertise.  For the purposes of this post, it will be living, British guests only.

Naturally, because I’m an old fogey, I’m drawn very much towards the over 25s. First, here are the guys on the invite list….

Jeremy Clarkson (broadcaster, journalist, writer, farmer)

His take on the world is not unlike mine but a lot, lot funnier. And we can ask him about cars, farming and all the places he’s been.  

Bob Mortimer (comedian and actor)

He’s naturally funny, full of surreal quotes and stories.  He also shows great empathy and seems to be able to get on with anyone. I’d try to get him to do ‘Train Guy’ for our guests over a ‘cappuchoochoo’.

Richard E. Grant (actor, presenter)

He is classy, cultured and well travelled and would hopefully tell tales about so many famous people. Although well known for his classical and comedic acting roles he seems naturally entertaining, funny, mischievous and upbeat.

Giles Brandreth (broadcaster, writer, actor and former politician)

He seems a see nice, friendly, wise and upbeat guy who can out-story most people. Check out his amazing autobiography.

Rick Wakeman (keyboardist, Rock legend, songwriter, producer, presenter)

Brilliant musician and best known for being in one of my favourite progressive rock bands – ‘Yes’. He’s a master teller of hilarious anecdotes relating to music and musicians.

Alex Ferguson (former Football Manager, player)

He’s a football legend and hero of mine.  Likeable and frightening at the same time. They say never meet your heroes but I’m sure this 80 year wouldn’t disappoint me. 

That’s the guys then. What about the ladies?  Well, I had real difficulty choosing female celebrities. I don’t feel I know them well enough.  I have little idea about actresses and what they are famous for being in.  I don’t follow Instagram and my TV channels and streaming services may be more limited than most so I am lacking in inspiration. There are few British female musicians I would be excited to meet.  Also, I don’t think there are any British comediennes out there who make me laugh that much.  Female politicians or activists, I might admire, but I wouldn’t want to spend an evening with them.  I find it difficult to tell which media presenters or sportswomen have personalities and I don’t know which business icons would be good company or inspirational.  I’m also conscious that I shouldn’t be too influenced by looks or my wife would get upset.  So, at a bit of a loss, I tried asking Google for recommendations but it just told me who were the most ‘beautiful’ and ‘hottest’ female celebrities. I really couldn’t disagree but, would I want to share my nibbles and conversation with them?    After great deliberation I decided I should my lady guests should be ……..

Amanda Holden (actress, tv presenter, singer)

Glamorous and likeable, she seems to have a great sense of humour and doesn’t take herself too seriously.  I hope she doesn’t sing though. 

Lauren Laverne (D.J. model, former singer, TV presenter)

She can talk on all music genres and seems very likeable and modest. I just love that Sunderland accent. Her left-wing political views should help to maintain some political balance at the party.

Gabby Logan MBE (former gymnast, tv presenter, broadcaster and popular face of BBC sports)

She has a great knowledge of sport, especially football. She has charm and personality and is good at getting people to ‘open up’ to her when interviewing. 

Anita Rani  (journalist, tv presenter/broadcaster)

With her interesting personal and career background and her wide range of interests, l think this popular award winning tv presenter would make a great guest. She has charm and enthusiasm and she’s from Yorkshire.

Kate Moss (supermodel and businesswoman and party girl of the 90s)

She’s partied hard with rock stars and film stars so she’ll have some tales to tell.  She may have calmed down now, but I believe she still has the ability to liven my party should the need arise.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor (singer songwriter and model)

She raised over £1m for charity in 24 hours with her spirit lifting lockdown kitchen disco.  She has great energy, is so upbeat and I love her speaking voice. Would she perform a ‘kitchen disco’ for us?  With my bad dancing though I would probably get ‘murdered’ on the dancefloor.

So that’s it.  The invites have gone out – just the food, party games and music to prepare now. 

I’ve lost it haven’t I?

But I would really love to know which celebrities you would invite to your dinner party.  

Author: Paul

I am a retired, married bloke, dad and grandad - growing old with attitude.

5 thoughts on “The Celebrities coming to my Dinner Party”

  1. An interesting selection, though Clarkson and Ferguson wouldn’t be on my list, nor would most of your female choices! I’d go for some of my musical favourites, like Kate Rusby. John Jones of Oysterband would also be on my list, as would Robert Plant and Richard Thompson. Then I’d get all of Bellowhead in! I’d avoid anyone who might start a political argument, and would probably get a couple of comedians around: Milton Jones and Ed Byrne amongst them. I know he’s Irish but he’s part of the furniture now.

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  2. Thanks Clive. It gets you thinking doesn’t it. Actually it was a toss up between Plant and Wakeman but I went for the latter because he’s probably funnier. Love Milton Jones and his one liners. I appreciate Clarkson and Ferguson are not for a lot of people😅

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You could well be right about Wakeman! It’s an interesting idea, though whether anyone else would get a word in edgeways with Gyles Brandreth there is doubtful 😂

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  4. Just realised you spelt Gyles correctly and I didn’t. 😅 You’re right he can talk, but he seems quite self aware and I just love how positive he is.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A lucky guess, and I hadn’t noticed your spelling anyway 😊

    I could listen to him all day – such a great storyteller.

    Like

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